BS METHODS FOR SHORTENING CHILDREN’S BOOKS

Reading to your child is one of life’s greatest gifts, right? But sometimes you are just … too … tired (or have read your child’s favorite book a hundred times) and wish you could turn that 36-page story into a 12-page story. Here’s how …The 2-Page Turn – Children are extremely susceptible to sleight-of-hand. Make use of it! While pointing to a picture on the left page, grasp 2 (or more) upcoming pages to flip over.  Word Skipping  – About half of the words in kids’ books are modifiers. Skipping needless terms like ‘very’, ‘quickly’, and ‘super’ will get you out in a little over half your usual time.

Daily Dose of BS Aug 7 tongue cleaning

Yesterday was national fresh breath day.  Did you celebrate?  I know I didn’t.  I did my typical daily brushing of the teeth, I think I even flossed, but I am like most people and don’t floss as much as a I should.  I read the other day that people who use mouth wash on a regular basis that they tend to lie more often than those who don’t use it.  I wonder if it is because it offers them a chance to share their breath more cause of the fresh minty smell and they feel as though they have to talk and share the minty goodness.   Since I missed national fresh breath day yesterday I just wanted to know if you have ever scraped your tongue.  I  never have but I brush it a few times a week.  According to some it is like someone who doesn’t clean a shag rug.  My question is who still has a shag rug? 

Daily Dose of BS August 6 beer

20 years ago beer was the most popular alcoholic beverage by far, since then beer is down.   I know I personally drink less beer than I used to but I blame that on getting older and having to get up at before the crack of dawn.  I also am more aware of the damage that drinking can do to you, your family and those around you.  I used to make the claim that I could close a bar and be up and at work at 5, and I would do it on occasion.  Those days sucked and I have no idea what possessed me to make that choice, oh yea, because I could.  When the national media is saying that beer consumption is down, and other alcohols are up, I wonder if it has to do with marketing and the disappearance of beer bars. 

WHAT YOUR FAVORITE FLAVOR SAYS ABOUT YOU:

In honor of Ice Cream Month, the Smell & Taste Treatment and Research Foundation gives us the inside scoop on what favorite ice cream flavors indicate about an individual’s personality …
Chocolate: You’re likely to be dramatic, lively, charming, flirtatious, seductive, and gullible.
Chocolate Chip: You’re most likely to be generous, competent, and a real go-getter.
Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough: You’re ambitious, competitive, and a visionary.
Mint Chocolate Chip: You’re argumentative, frugal, and often cautious.
Pralines ‘n Cream: Loving and supportive; prefer to avoid the spotlight.
Rainbow Sherbet: Analytic, decisive, and sometimes a bit pessimistic.
Rocky Road: You’re more likely to be aggressive, engaging, and a good listener.
Strawberry: An introvert who is tolerant and devoted.
Vanilla: You tend to be an idealist who is impulsive and easily swayed.
– Adapted from NYDailyNews.com

Daily Dose of BS August 5 trip

I talk for a living and if you meet me in person you will know that I talk pretty much all the time, even in my sleep.  I was on an extended weekend trip last Friday and Saturday making a trip to the Twin Cities, with stops at the Mall of America and the Minnesota Zoo.  At the MOA we did the aquarium there it is called Sea Life and believe me I was whistling the song while walking thru the aquarium, if you like having an up close and personal experience with sea urchins and starfish and have a shark and sting ray float over you then the is a great place for you to visit.  The next day the zoo, always fun and took one of the last trips on the monorail, they are closing it after Labor Day.  Getting back to me talking, we were enjoying the managers reception on Friday night at the hotel we started to talk with the family next to us, they we’re just wrapping up their 3 weeks’ vacation that brought them all over the West Coast and back thru Minnesota to fly home to DC, vacation without a plan, that to me sounds like fun.  Would you be able to do it?  Plus we met some people from La Crosse staying at the hotel.  

Tons of fests in La Crosse Some of the weird ones else where

WEIRD and WACKY FESTIVALS AROUND-THE-WORLD:
Wife Carrying World Championships (Sonkajärvi, Finland)
Mud Festival (Boryeong, South Korea)
World Bodypainting Festival (Poertschach, Austria)
The Battle of Oranges (Ivrea, Italy)
Night Of the Radishes (Oaxaca, Mexico)
Garlic Festival (Gilroy, California)
World Bog Snorkeling Championship (Llanwrtyd Wells, Wales)
Eeyore’s Birthday Party (Austin, Texas)
– Condensed from “USA Today”

Daily Dose of BS July 30 tv

Old school tvs.  I remember when I was a kid and the tv broke.  My Dad called a tv repairman and he came to our house to fix the tv.  I even bought a tv that didn’t work when I was a kid at a rummage sale.  It cost me 7 dollars to fix it.  I remember that cause it was a $7.50 tv.  It needed a cord, it was black and white it didn’t have a remote and you had to turn the channels by hand.  Remember grabbing ahold of the knob and seeing if you could turn the channels all the way around with out letting go of it.  There was uhf and vhf and no cable….at least where I grew up in the twin cities.  (I think that is just what my parents told us so that way we didn’t have to get it…a whole other story that is.)  We had the networks abc, cbs, nbc and pbs….nothing more nothing less.  I think I like tv today as we graduated from vcrs and dvds to tivos and internet tv.  Where are we going to go from here?  Tv that beams to our phones?  Nevermind it is already here.

Daily Dose of BS August 1 poverty

I read a news story the other day that shocked me it said  “Four out of 5 U.S. adults struggle with joblessness, near poverty or reliance on welfare for at least parts of their lives”.  I call BS unless the poor are hiding somewhere, I believe that we have a problem but 4 out of five, that works out to 80% or about as many dentists recommend chewing Trident.  When I look around at my fellow man, I see iphones, lap tops, big screen tvs, restaurants with patrons,  people to spending money.  I just don’t get how this report can say 4 out of 5 struggle, if they were to be honest, maybe just a handful of people don’t struggle with money, but I am guessing that much of the struggle is brought on by bad choices or poor spending habits.  

Daily Dose of BS July 31 guilty

GUILTY. That is the verdict of Jeffery Lepsch, the Minnesota man accused killing Paul and A.J. Petras at May’s Photo last fall.  The La Crosse Police did a quick and fast job of finding, and then charging him.  I was shocked when I heard what the killing was over, 17 thousand dollars’ worth of camera equipment.  Really a couple of lives are worth only 17 grand.   The 12 peers from La Crosse, the jury, found Lepsch guilty.  

Daily Dose of BS July 29 bail and guns

Should we as a country bail out Detroit?  Most of us have issues with money, so should the country take on the burden of helping out our fellow countrymen and women?   I am not sure how I feel about this, on one hand I wonder if there is truly anything we as outsiders can do to help this struggling community, if what we do as a country will really be a long term helping hand or will it be a hand out?  But on the other hand I feel bad for those in the situation that have no choice, like the kids.  I also heard that the city of Chicago wants to take the guns from those that aren’t supposed to have guns like those that are mentally ill or have felony records; I guess that I thought that this is something that is always done.  Guess what it isn’t. 

Daily Dose of BS July 26 phones

At work this morning the phones didn’t work.  I see I have a voice mail, I couldn’t retrieve it.  Then the phones turned on and crackly then it worked for a while then I got hung up on.  It is weird I really never thought about how much I use the hard wired phone for my job.  I guess that since I take calls on the air and make calls to different people to interview them a phone is needed.  Hard to think that with all the cell phone and internet technology that is out there that the wire in the wall and the phone on the desk still has meaning.  I remember as a kid taking a super long phone cord and running a phone up to my room, then when I first moved on my own having a phone in a couple of rooms.  Now at home when the home phone rings it doesn’t get answered half the time because no one can find one of the cordless phones, or they are not convenient.  Are you still wired?

Daily Dose of BS July 25 cell phone

July is “Cellphone Courtesy Month”  What phone etiquette faux pas really ticks you off?  Some of the things that tick me off about cell phones, when people talk loudly on the phone in a public place or texting while dining with someone in a restaurant or my favorite taking calls while in a serious conversation, or make that any conversation.  Enough of  the bad etiquette, lets all work together to make it a successful rest of the month, after all its less than a week, and if we do it day by day we will eventually make a dent in rude cell phone etiquette. 

Daily Dose of BS July 24 breakfast

I guess I do something right, I heard a report yesterday that it is true breakfast is the most important meal of the day and as a man it is even more important.   Men who regularly skip breakfast are at 27 percent higher risk of suffering a heart attack or fatal heart disease, they go on to say a bunch of other stuff about it too but I tuned it out and started hunting for something to have for my breakfast.  I think Homer Simpson said it best, mmm donuts.  I am guessing this isn’t the kind of breakfast that the study was talking about. 

Daily Dose of BS July 23 a bit of a bunch

1490 that is the amount of gnats flying around my deck, does anyone know how to get rid of the dang things?  I also got many things running thru my head today as I usually do.   I am trying to teach my kids not to lie, yet here we have a major league player, one who many look up to getting suspended for doping, cheating and lying.  When someone that kids look up to, or anyone dopes, cheats and lies to better themselves for the game there is a problem.  I have always found if I do something wrong and am called on the carpet for it, if you come clean the wrath may be swift but is less then when you lie about it.  Also does anyone else besides me not give a royal rip about the royal birth?  There are women all over the world giving birth everyday, and many of these kids I bet end up making more of an impact in the future than a royal birth.  I guess I better keep my mouth shut about this or I may ingest another gnat I think I am up to 105 so for this summer.  

I should have known

1. The "complimentary" paper tells you that President Kennedy has died. 
2. The mint on the pillow starts moving when you come close to it. 
3. The "magic fingers vibration" is supplied by giving a quarter to the town epileptic. 
4. There is still some stuff that they put around crime scenes that is yellow.
5. The pictures are not placed for decoration but to cover up recent bullet holes. 
6. You have to wait until the guy next door is done with the towel so you can use it. 
7. There's a chalk outline in the bed when you pull back the covers. 
8.The desk clerk has to move the body in order to get some ice for you. 
9. The Only TV station you can get is a porno channel with Roseanne on it. 
10. The wake up call comes courtesy of police helicopter.

## almost stayed at a horriable Motel in Ashland Wisconsin.  Read my daily dose of BS from July 22

Daily Dose of BS July 22 bad motel stay

I believe that things happen for a reason.  Think of most of the things that have happened in your life and look at the eventual outcome.  I think that things happen for a reason.  On my vacation that I just got back from I needed a room and I needed it quick so I booked a hotel room on a travel website, boy was the family disappointed.  It started when the cottage that we were staying in couldn’t accommodate us for a 3^rd night, they worked to find us a room and couldn’t get one for us.  We found one a few towns away it was the only room left in town according to the site.  We took it, it had the stench of smoke, a few cigarette burns on one of the bed spreads and an air conditioner that was plugged into one of the brown non grounded extension cords, an a dirty towel hanging on the back of the bathroom door.  We thought we could overlook all of the above since we were doing outdoor things we would just stay outside until it was time for bed, we did, we hiked and fished and had great family time.  Got back to the room and my daughter moved a pillow on the bed and a bug scurried away.  I took the key to the inn keeper and asked for my money back, he refused.  We left anyway.  Worst motel experience I have ever had.  We ended up staying in Hayward that night over an hour away from where we started, still a great vacation. 

Daily Dose of BS July 16 Wisconsin Vacation

We all work hard, well some of you do. I am not sure I put myself into that category; you see I love what I do every day so for me it isn’t work. The job that pays me offers me 21 paid days off a year, 3 weeks to do what I want, and I sometimes have a hard time taking all those days. I am not sure why, the years creep up quickly and with that being said, the vacation days keep accumulating. I took a day off last week to enjoy Rock on the River in Prairie du Chien and will be taking some more days off to enjoy a Wisconsin vacation. This year going to Madeline Island for a couple of days, then later heading to Milwaukee for a Brewers game and a trip to the Zoo. Already hit up my favorite place in the whole world the family cabin in the Town of Freeman Wisconsin and looking forward to many more nights there this year, and also just hit up the Dells. Where is your favorite vacation spot? Come to think of it, it isn’t too hard to burn through those days when you live in God’s Country.

BS PLACES WE’LL LIKELY WIND UP GOING THIS SUMMER VACATION

• Wrong turn through unexpected suburban neighborhoods.
• Overnight accommodations in enclosed space near screaming baby.
• The visitor center of broken exhibits serving 0 million visitors a year.
• Breathtakingly cold water in locals-only municipal swimming pool.
• Historic B&B with peeling paint and … is that cat pee? It’s definitely cat pee.
• Staycation in living room, nestled between eatery (kitchen) and spa (bathroom) with all the comforts of home.
• High school reunion featuring wine coolers and vengeful payback.
• Some national monument with more stairs than a stair factory.
• Immersive, authentic experience in depressing town you left at age 18.
• The We-Paid-a-Lot-of-Money-So-Quit-Crying Amusement Park.

Daily Dose of BS July 15 stuff

Does the not guilty verdict surprise you?  I am not sure it surprises me.   There were many calls for peaceful activism, after the George Zimmerman verdict was read.  I heard of a few disturbances of rocks and batteries being tossed at police and crowds, but lots of other peaceful protests.  Elsewhere in the news over the weekend one of the stars from Glee was found dead in his hotel, apparently from a drug overdose.  I have never seen the show, but it is always sad to see another person overdosing.  We have a drug problem all over our country including small towns, and it is a scary that drugs are so prevalent and easy to get.  

Daily Dose of BS July 11

George Zimmerman is not going to testify.  I for one would like to hear his side of the story.  His attorney felt that he had already told it in multiple interviews played to the jurors.  I wonder if they are suppressing his testimony so that way they can set up the trial as a mistrial?