Daily Dose of BS December 30

OH NO!!!! It’s going to be 2012, the world is coming to an end.  According to the Mayans the world is going to come to an end in December of 2012.  What should I do?  Get all my ducks in a row, by stock in Rolaids, and bunkers are us?  Do you think that worrying about the end of the world is going to do you any good?  Do you really think that the world is going to end in December 2012 because the Mayans got tired of putting together their calendar 5000 years ago?  Are you going to be surprised when you wake up on December 22 next year?  I mean in my lifetime there have been many dates that have come and gone where the world was to end, and guess what, it didn’t happen.  I remember as the year 1999 was coming to a close, there were many who were worried about the world crashing around us and the preverbal stuff hitting the fan, with computers crashing and the world starting to rotate backward, and people taking shelter in bunkers with pallets of bottled water and boxes upon boxes of mre’s.  Guess what they never needed them.  I don’t think it is bad to have a plan for emergencies but to change your life and waste your time worrying about the impending doom and gloom of 2012.  Someday your life will end, and it may well be in 2012, but is it worth the worry and wasted time when you could be doing something more productive? 

Daily Dose of BS December 29

We live in a pretty safe area, why do so many people lock and alarm their cars?  I very rarely have anything of any value in my car and if I do what is to stop someone who really wants what I have from taking it?  The reason I bring this up is a few weeks ago, I locked my keys in the car.  Stupid right?  I had to walk back in to the store where I was shopping and ask for a wire hanger, I luckily had the window open a crack so it was easy to get in.  Awhile back a co-worker had locked her keys into her car, so I did a bit of internet research to help her to break into her car.  No luck, I did find lots of bad advice on the internet and lots of myths that are out there to be busted.  She ended up calling a tow truck to break into her car.  Lesson learned….at least till the next time.

Daily Dose of BS December 28

Are you ready for your yearly lie? Lots of us start the year ready for failure. How often have you said to yourself this is the year I am going to...it doesn't matter what the ... is since many of us have filled in the blank with some unrealistic goals. Like this year I am going to Start Exercising, Eat Better, Spend More Time with Family & Friends, Quit Smoking, Enjoy Life More, Quit Drinking, Get Out of Debt, Learn Something New, Have a positive frame of mind, Be Real, Think to the future, Smile more often, Respond to all emails in a timely fashion, or do things for me....I am not buying that in your mind you think you are going to do those things, but lets get real. How often have you made those little promises to yourself? When I was a smoker I made that new years resolution countless times.  I finally made the decision to quit and haven't had a cigarette for over 4 years.  I didn't do it as a New Years resolution.  I did it as a birthday gift to myself and was good for one year, each year I have given myself the same gift.  To make your resolution better obtainable I would make it realistic, plan ahead, reward yourself, talk about it, remember that most people think that if you make a mistake that you've blown it...use your setbacks as a stepping stone or a learning experience.  Don't beat yourself up and understand that you will have set backs...it is not the end of the world to take a step back when your eye is on the end goal...basically quit lying to yourself and set realistic goals and have a plan of attack.  Good luck in your endeavor to become a better person. 

Daily Dose of BS December 27

Now that Boxing day is done, I have a few observations of the past few days.  Lets start off with last Friday, my mother came for a visit, I love my Mom and enjoy spending time with her...but she likes to sleep in and when they come for a visit, they sleep till at least 8, by 8 I have 3 plus hours of my day in the bag...that and when they come they sleep in the front room which is between the rest of the house and the front door.  I enjoy reading the paper on weekend mornings.  Christmas Eve was Saturday, we went to church as a family, amazingly the kids offered to do the dishes for Christmas Eve dinner...I think the last time that they offered to do dishes was last Christmas.  We then unwrapped gifts, it is amazing that 2 months of planning and a years worth of saving for can be done in less than 30 minutes...30 minutes to unwrap all those gifts...WOW, and this year we went slow.  Kids went to bed in hopes of a visit from Santa.  He arrived with bells on...no really I heard them.  The kids were happy when they came down at 6:30 Christmas morning.  Got the goods hooked up, played in harmony for about an hour when the screams of unfair could be heard from downstairs and then the tattling of he's doing this and she's doing that...Christmas breakfast was served and not one of the 4 kids offered to do the dishes.  I guess that they got what they wanted.  Mom left Dad then came, I love my Dad but he is opinionated and we clash at times (I guess I am like my Dad)...Christmas dinner and then back to the rotary lights with Dad, open more gifts and watch the Packers.  Bringing us to yesterday and again the kids arguing from the basement about who knows what.  Went to a couple of stores to get a few things with the kids...you know gift cards need to be spent right away after all.  I now know why yesterday is called Boxing Day, as the parking lots at the stores you feel boxed in and in the big box stores you are overwhelmed with people...back to work and no boxes and no "Dad would you tell him to share!"  Happy back to work Tuesday.

Daily Dose of BS December 23

Merry Christmas, there I said it.  I hope to not get shot over my wishes for a great season.  When I grew up everyone said Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.  Now we need to ask if it is ok to say Merry Christmas, and which New Year are you celebrating?  Call me old fashioned or naïve, I am wishing you good cheer for this time of the year, for me it is the holiday season.  I am not trying to push Christianity down your throat.  I was raised saying Merry Christmas, and I believe in the Christmas season.  I know that this time of the year is difficult for some and joyful for others, I am also aware that this time of the year is also a Holy time of the year for people with other beliefs, and if someone wished me Happy Chanukah I would not be offended, in fact I would embrace the fact that someone had good wishes for me.  I think that we as a whole have been too into the political correctness of the day.  It runs from those who won’t budge on the Merry Christmas and saying it’s Christmas damn-it and you should say Merry Christmas, to those who refuse to say or recognize the birth of Christ and the reason for the season.  Even the people who refuse to take part in any of the celebrating that is going on this time of the year.  Is it bad to enjoy the joy, the lights, the camaraderie of your friends and family, the smiles on Christmas morning when Santa delivers his goods?  I will continue to say Merry Christmas, for those that are non-believers please don’t take it as me trying to be political, it is a wish for good cheer, and by the way Happy New Year. 

Daily Dose of BS December 22

The guys I play cards with and I have a Christmas party and we exchange gifts and these gifts are the worst of the worst.  I think some of the guys lay up at night trying to think of the worst possible gift ever.  Last year one guy gave a padded toilet seat that he decorated with corn and chocolate bars.  It was hilarious...every year we try to out do the worst gift ever.  I found the perfect website for the white elephant gift person on your list.  Check out stupid.com, some of the stupid gag gifts that they have are a pooping reindeer sweater, a toilet coffee mug, a remote control whoopee cushion, a countdown clock, a doomsday calendar, a dashboard pole dancer and so many more stupid Christmas or white elephant gifts.  If you are looking to get the crowd to laugh at your January company Christmas party or to give the best gag gift for your gift exchange, I would check out stupid.com.  Back to my card playing friends, we have bah humbug friend, I will call him Tom...he hates Christmas, the whole Christmas season.  Well a bunch of my buddies decorated a 16 foot Christmas tree with lots of lights and a string of red solo cups, a huge Noel sign and put it on a timer all while Tom was out of town....I wonder if he'll send the electric bill to the card group....scrooge.   

Daily Dose of BS December 21

Hi my name is Bob and I have a hearing problem...I never get sick of hearing the jokes...what or huh.  The past 4 months have been great thanks to Beltone Hearing Center.  Last night I was watching tv with the volume at eight, when all of a sudden there rose such a clatter...I jumped from my recliner to see what was the matter, I opened the front door and to my surprise there was a small car with their hearing close to demise.  The bass was pumping so loud and so true...it was so loud I knew not what to do.  I wanted to run out and say turn it down, but was in fear that my voice would have been drown.  The kids were in the car, doing what I don't know.  I am sure that their ears were soon were to blow.  I wondered aloud and said to myself those speakers didn't come right off of the shelf, they scripmt and their proud...of the thumping of bass...it's too damn loud I wanted to yell in their face.  But thought once again about being young when I could hear, if they keep it that loud, they could be deaf by next year.  The season is among us to celebrate and be glad...having them turn it down would have them thought me their Dad...Merry Christmas to all and to all lots of cheer....and turn down the sound so that we all can hear.  

Daily Dose of BS December 20

My family and I made quick trip to Eveleth Minnesota (where the US Hockey Hall of Fame is) this past weekend, we left on Saturday morning and got back Sunday evening.  We went for a get together for my wife's family, for Christmas and such.  It was kind of fun as a couple of my brother in laws opened up and started telling stories about the trouble that they caused when they were kids.  I guess the statute of limitations ran out, that and their kids are old enough now to not try the stupid things that they did ( I am still holding a bunch of stories waiting for both those things).  The hotel where we stayed wasn't bad as they had a bar, and not on the windows.  The weird thing about the hotel is that they had ear plugs next to the beds and a card attached to them that read, please enjoy a quiet nights sleep, use these ear plugs to stop the trains noise.  It worked for the train but not for my kids snoring.  I Tivo'ed the Packers Game not Teeboed the game, meaning I DVR'ed it so that I could watch the Pack once I got home...my brother ruined my drive home and my Sunday night enjoyment of watching the game buy texting me this...It's all about the Chiefs...they beat the Pack.  I had avoided my buddies texts up to that point since they were at the game.  I figured my brother wouldn't be texting about the game right????  I was wrong.  

Daily Dose of BS December 16

Having friends is a good thing, there are so many ways to meet new people from the old school way of....school, to work to other friends to meeting people at a bar to online and all the ways in between.  I am very blessed I have many good friends, people who would do anything for either me or my family or other friends.  It is funny if you think about the way that we become friends, it all starts with the simple task of just saying hello.  Making eye contact and the ability to carry on a conversation.  This basic art of conversation is often lost with the way we are all now connected via the internet and texting.  What happened to the sit at the bar with a friend and being introduced to some of their friends and then carrying on conversation with them?  I got the chance to do just that last night.  One of my buddies who is an entertainer that travels the world has a friend who is an artist the two of them a retired guy and I got together for a few Downtown Browns at a local tavern last night.  We didn't solve any world issues, but did talk smart, told some stories and learned some about each other.  The art of conversation may be lost with modern forms of communication, but set me down with just about anyone and a beer and there will be conversation.  

Daily Dose of BS December 15

I have about this much patience...especially since I am getting older.  I don't know about you but sometimes it is the little stupid things that bug me like there is no tomorrow.  Like rude people, or people who talk on their phone at a volume 10x what the normal volume would be.  It is a piece of equipment with a microphone...microphones amplify sound, you don't need to yell in to the phone.  I am also irritated by people who say certain things for example this phrase "You just don't understand."  Really irritates me, it grates on my last nerve...I think it is because my son uses it all the time when he is trying to negotiate with me and is loosing the  argument.  What gives anyone the right to say those words you just don't understand.  Maybe I don't but do you need to point out that I am not that bright?  Maybe try to inform me with some words and ideas I do understand.  My Dad used to say you don't know and you don't know that you don't know.  I challenged him on that also by pointing out that he didn't know either, he quit using it.  I don't know what it is about getting older and not being as flexible but I am trying but please quit being stupid so we can get along.   

Daily Dose of BS December 14

Rain, Rain go away come again some other day.  I always thought it was April showers that bring May flowers.  I don't remember a nursery rhyme that has anything to do with December rain, do you ( how ever there was a A Gun's and Rose's song called November Rain)?  I for one am sick of the puddles in the back yard and the ground being just frozen enough to keep the puddles there and grass just dead enough to have the dog tear up what is left of the brown grass...we have a lovely stew of mud, a few leaves, some grass and what dogs leave behind mixed the right amount of kids toys in our yard for a wonderful fall / early winter backyard stew.  What good is living in a colder climate such as Wisconsin when you can't enjoy what the snow has to offer from skiing, to snowboarding to tubing and sledding, to ice skating, fort building and snow ball fights.  My oldest wants to get a snow mobile this year and I told him to wait till it snows...at the rate we are going it is going to be awhile.  While I am not a huge fan of the white stuff I do enjoy shoveling every once in awhile.  I know weird right, but there are people out there that enjoy cutting wood, so I stand by my enjoying shoveling...snow.  So for what it is worth, I wish we would get some snow, and be done with the rain at least until rain season.  As Bing Crosby sings...I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas.

Daily Dose of BS December 13

Yesterday I got to play the big man in the red suit at The Rotary Lights at Riverside Park.  I have played the big man before…but never for so many kids.  I dressed up warm with long underwear, and 3 layers of shirts figuring that I was going to be outside at and I hate being cold, I failed to realize that there was heat in the Santa shed.  I walked out to Santas home by the river nestled within the 2.6 million lights at Rotary Lights, and already felt warm, sat down, glasses got foggy, felt panicky because I was too hot, and thought what if while I am sitting here I have to go to the bathroom, what if a kid uses me as a bathroom, what happens if someone pulls my beard or worse yet my finger?  What would I do?  What if the people show up and call me a phony….what if this or that or the other thing?  I took a couple of deep breaths through my beard, exhaled thru my mouth let out a hardy HO, HO, HO and decided it would all be good, and guess what it was.   All the kids that came by last night were on the nice list, their parents confirmed it.  Most kids wanted either an Ipod Touch, cars, dolls or a Guitar.  The choice of a guitar surprised this Santa.  If you haven’t been down to the Rotary Lights yet, I would suggest you do…bring a food donation to help to stock the food shelves, and Have a Merry Christmas.  

Daily Dose of BS December 12

I got my 3^rd nail in my tire in the past 2 months.  I thought I was going crazy.  Why would I have another nail in my tire?  Is there a hoodlum in my neighborhood that is out there spreading nails over the alleys and streets of the south side?  My son works for Bion’s service center on the South Side of La Crosse, and he has fixed our tire problems all three times, since Bion’s fix and repair tires.  My son said that there has been tons of cars, trucks and vans with nails in their tires this summer and fall.  I had to ask, is there a band of punks sprinkling nails on the streets, are there gangs dedicated to puncturing holes into the tires of unsuspecting Moms and Dads?  Are the tire companies trying to get more people to replace their tires?  Don’t your tires rotate themselves when you drive?  The answer to all of my tire puncture worries were put to bed when he said with all the roofs being replaced around town, nails sometimes end up in the street and sometimes end up in your tires.  Makes since to me.   I am still waiting on an answer on the tire rotation question… 

Daily Dose of BS December 9

I used to be a smoker…when I was younger I used to toss my cigarette butts out the window of my car…when someone pointed out to me that it was littering I stopped.  It bugged me lots as I have always been the guy who wouldn’t even toss a gum wrapper out the window or drop a sucker stick on the ground, and would get irritated when someone was throwing something away and missed the trash and just left it but didn’t see the big picture of not tossing a butt out the window.  When I see someone toss their cigarette butt out the window now it pisses me off and makes me angry.  I want to start writing down license plates and broadcasting them on the air, or post them on a website.  I watched a women yesterday waiting for her kids to get out of school sit in her car with the windows rolled up smoking, only to roll down her window 2 different times to toss her butt out the window.  Doesn’t your car have an ash tray?  Or some receptacle that you can toss your stinky burn butt into?  If you smoke remember that the world is not your ashtray..your butts present a threat to wildlife. Cigarette filters have been found in the stomachs of fish, birds, whales and other marine creatures who mistake them for food ...they are a form of plastic, cigarette butts can persist in the environment as long as other forms of plastic, and are not bio-degradable, don’t be an ass pick up your butt. 

Daily Dose of BS December 8

In Hawaii it is considered The Hawaiian Steak; in Austin they have a museum for it.  In your inbox there is a ton of it, two different things, with one name.  I am talking about Spam.  I am a fan of the meat product that has the name however I always wondered who uses the jelly that comes out of the can when you open it and allow the meat to slowly drop from the can on to the plate with the suction cup sound as it slowly falls from its metal home.  I did try it once with peanut butter on a dare from my brother.  It was gross, I would suggest that you never do try it.  I like Spam mixed in with mac and cheese, or cold on a sandwich with lettuce and tomato.  I do not like my Spam fried like some people do, I think it tastes too salty.  I have never been to the museum even though it is only 90 minutes from here.  The reason I started writing about Spam is for the other Spam the stuff that ends up in your inbox.  I for one am sick and tired of being bombarded with offers for this or offers for that in broken English and bad grammar.  Do people really ever buy things from these spammers?  How often have you ever clicked on one or been temped to send your bank account number to some prince in South Africa?  These spam companies are not only robbing you blind of your time but think of the amount of time that you are wasting when you are at work getting your emails they are taking money out of your employers pockets with the time and productivity that is stolen.  I guess what I am trying to say is I am ok with Spam the tasty meat but not the time and money wasting junk email.  

Daily Dose of BS December 7

I remember being one of the last of my friends families to get a microwave, and vcr.  We used to have to wait for things to warm up and had to watch tv when it was on and movies at the theater, we had to sit in one place to be on the phone since it was in the kitchen and attached to a cord…My have things changed.  I don’t think I know anyone with out a microwave and a dvd player, and most people have some sort of dvr, I am partial to the TIVO.  We carry cell phones have the internet in our pockets, and cars that talk to us.  Yet we are still wanting more, faster and better.  When will we be satisfied with the technology that we have, when will enough be enough?  I can remember when I first tried the internet and how cool it was to be able to have information at my fingertips, and be able to look at what ever it was that I wanted and have the potential to look up anything…I mean anything.  It was amazing how fast it seemed…but how soon we get spoiled; we want it faster, bigger and stronger.  Could you imagine trying to go online now at the speeds you had when you first started online?  I would go nuts, I am as guilty as the next guy wanting new and improved things and technology….hell I want my microwave to heat faster and my tivo to play at 2x speed so it won’t take as long to watch a show so I can get on and do something else…like nap because like the computers in your life sometimes I need a re-boot too. 

Daily Dose of BS December 6

Its almost 2012 and I finally did it.  I stepped up and into the 21^st century.  I have had a cell phone for at least the past 12 years.  A couple years ago I got a Blackberry and internet on my phone.  I have always just talked on the phone with people since I am a radio guy after all.  Why not talk that is what a phone is for right.  I used the Blackberry for emails for my home business and to correspond with friends and family with emails.  Why would I need to text right…enter life with a teenager.  You need to text have any contact with your teens since talking on the phone takes to long.  Um no, it takes less time but when I took typing in High School, I thought to myself when the hell am I going to type, I want to be a radio person and they just talk, and with typing it took so long…glad I learned to type first off cause I have such poor penmanship that I cant read my own writing, and I type more for my job then I care to think about.  So the short of it is, I took the plunge and if it takes me a while to text ya back or I don’t have the text lingo down…sorry.  It may take awhile to teach this old dog new tricks but I am trying.  Now if I can just remember where I put the damn thing.  Have you seen my phone?  Seriously I forgot it at home today…

Daily Dose of BS December 5

As Katie Perry sang about Last Friday Night, I had an experience that happened then…I believe that we don’t have too much to worry about if the kids that were invited to my twins’ birth day party are any indication at all about the future of our world, our country, and our society.  My twins decided they wanted to have a slumber party and invite a few friends each to celebrate.  We decided on staying at a hotel to hit up the swimming pool and easier cleanup after the party.  I brought the WII the kids brought their swim suits, sleeping bags and appetites.   My twins are a boy and a girl so two rooms were needed.  The Holiday Inn Express in Onalaska was an awesome place to have this party…not only were they super accommodating, with a superb staff, but they have an awesome pool area that was not to hot or humid…if you have spent anytime watching your kids swim at a hotel you know what I am talking about.  There were not a ton of extra people in the pool are so the kids had a blast, we had pizza in their common area, played WII and ate cake and sang happy birthday.  All the kids that spent the night enjoyed a great breakfast with the automated pancake maker and other goodies.  Back to the kids…everyone of the kids every single one said please and thank you every time we did something for them and when they left (with out being reminded), and when we checked out the young lady working at the Hotel said that those kids were awesome, and she sees lots of parties there.  So to the parents that are out teaching your kids to be polite and respectful…I thank you.

Daily Dose of BS December 2

Christmas is fast approaching.  Have you shopped for your loved ones yet?  I am guessing you already bought for your kids but for your spouse most likely not.  What do you get the spouse who already has everything…really.   We live in a I want it now society and we really do want it now.  Heck when was the last time that you thought you needed a thingamabob and went to the store right then and there to get that thing?  I am guessing that more often than not you dropped what you were doing and went to get it, and if you couldn’t have got it then, you either obsessed about it or didn’t get it after all.  I was talking to a friend of mine Angela at my La Crosse Area Business Club meeting yesterday and she was talking about purchasing gifts for her husband and how they buy what they want, when they want, so there is really no need or surprise when it comes to gifts.  Her suggestion was how about she goes out and buys what she wants and wraps it up and puts under the tree and he goes out and buys what he wants and puts it under the tree then they will both be surprised at what they bought each other.  Kind of makes sense to me, since I am the worlds worst gift giver.  Would a coupon for me to do dishes be a good enough gift?  And how do you give a gift receipt with that?

Daily Dose of BS December 1

A headline on the front page of the La Crosse Tribune today says “Horses could soon be slaughtered for meat in the US”.  Kind of an unnerving thought, right…but the more I thought of it, we eat other kinds of meat that I wouldn’t want to think about.  I mean as the dairy state we drive by thousands of milk machines every year…and a juicy burger is one of my favorites.  And with Christmas right around the corner, think about how Santa travels through the air…I love a venison roast and venison sausage and jerky is delicious.  What would childhood be like without the toe counting song this little piggy went to the market this little piggy stayed home this little piggy made a great bbq pork sandwich, this little piggy was ham and this little piggy went mm mm mm all the way to the grill as a pork chop.  How many of you have had an aquarium as a kid, or loved the movie Finding Nemo?  Ever been to wild game feed or a fish boil…I am just saying.   Tv has introduced us to Andrew Zimmern and Bizarre Foods.  I am not advocating the killing of horses for meat, but I am going to try to keep an open mind… neigh…